Chat Between Chapters: Book Recommendations: Have you ever been scared/shy to recommend a favorite?

April 20, 2014 Chat Between Chapters, Featured Posts 37


 Book Recommendations: Have you ever feared recommending your favorite book to someone? Why?


Rose review avatar Rose:

Of course! There are lots of reasons I am often times fearful of recommending my favorite book to someone I know. Take for instance, your co blogger. Now lets say you recommend your favorite series to her and she decides she not only does not like the first book, but that she no longer trusts your judgment and will not continue reading the series. (Read on Julie!!! I promise it is worth it!) Another instance in which I hesitate to recommend a book is directly correlated to the type of sexy time a book might contain. It  is one thing to read these myself, but it seems entirely too personal to recommend a book like this to your mother or great aunt or co-worker. I mean, are they sitting there reading it and thinking that their daughter/great niece/co-worker is a freak? Omagosh such anxiety! I am getting over this now I think since I have started blogging. I do sometimes preface my recommendation with a “this one is a bit steamy” and let it up to them to decide if they wish to read it. On a very few occasions, I have been extremely worried about recommending a book I am particularly fond of to someone that I wish to continue to like. I mean, I could see a budding relationship/friendship taking a nose dive if the person did not love the book (or at least appreciate it for what it is, which is my favorite book). Luckily for Julie, we have solidified our friendship over Dean Holder.

Julie Review Avatar Julie:

Other than recommendations provided directly via this blog and in conversations with bookish people, I don’t know that I really recommend books very much. Maybe it is because I don’t know how my favorites will go over with people who don’t really read that genre, or read much at all. I can’t say that I’ve experienced such a traumatic event as Rose has, with her favorite co-blogger just hating on her favorite series. (Although, seriously, that was one messed up story, albeit extremely well written and narrated.) I guess we’re just all into what we’re into, and so I tend to only recommend something if I think the person will actually like it.

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37 Responses to “Chat Between Chapters: Book Recommendations: Have you ever been scared/shy to recommend a favorite?”

  1. Tina at Mommynificent

    I actually recommend and loan out a lot, and I always am a little nervous about it, but I also find it helps me get to know my friends better as I learn what books they like and don’t and why. It’s such a great feeling to pair a great book with a great friend and have it work. Sort of like matchmaking, I suppose! 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this at Booknificent Thursday! These conversations are always such fun!
    Tina at Mommynificent recently posted…Booknificent Thursday Link Up Party #43

    • Rose

      It IS like match making. I never thought of it like that before! And you are right, it is a great way to get to know someone better.

  2. Carrie

    I am sometimes nervous…if I really love a book and go on and on about it, I hate to think that the person who I convince to read it will hate it and that I’ve wasted her time!

    On a funny note, though. I recommended my FAVORITE books ever to my neighbor (Outlander series). She’s super conservative. After a week or so she says to me, “Wow…these books are really…graphic. I wasn’t expecting all the…sex.” She kept reading, so…lol?

    I also recommended a book to my MIL that I hadn’t read in YEARS. My MIL is even more conservative than my neighbor. Well, I just recently watched the movie (it was The Reader) and realized I totally recommended a book with graphic sex between an adult and a teenager – kind of embarassing.
    Carrie recently posted…Weight Watchers Update: Week 9

    • Rose

      Carrie! I have a bunch of people at work asking my about Outlander because I talk about it so much. Well I gave my loaner copy to two co workers, one young guy and one older lady and they loved it. I was scared to at first because of the material, especially in the first book. But then one of my other co workers who is pretty religious, (you know the type, don’t smoke, don’t chew, don’t go with boys who do) She asked me, “Who wrote that Outlander book,again? I want to read it.” and I am like ummmm…. well, okay, but its pretty graphic and raw in some places…. she hasn’t read it yet.

  3. Heidi

    Ever since a friend mocked me for recommending Twilight (even though her husband told me she couldn’t put it down either), I’m wary of what books I recommend to certain people.

    • Rose

      how sad! I get what you mean though. I was obsessed with the first Twilight movie and people made fun of me for being a 30 year old obsessed with Twilight movie. Oh well. Turns out that person wasn’t even a long term friend. LOL. Perhaps its like dogs… or cats… if you cat/dog doesn’t like someone, you usually take the hint. well if your “friend” doesn’t like your favorite book, maybe you should take the hint. haha

  4. Ann @ Books on the Table

    Well, I work in a bookstore so I am recommending books all day long. However, I’ve never quite gotten over the fear of recommending books that I really love. I get very attached to certain books and feel terrible if someone else doesn’t like them — almost if I’m the author. One of our frequent customers is a fairly well-known author and she says it’s even more hurtful when her close friends and family say they “don’t have time” to read the books she’s written, much less the ones by other authors she recommends.
    Ann @ Books on the Table recently posted…10 Favorite Boston Books

    • Rose

      yikes! Don’t have the time? That would hurt!. BTW I would LOVE to work in a bookstore. What an awesome job!

  5. Amy @ItsAMindfulLife

    This is a really interesting question. I haven’t thought of it before. I haven’t felt apprehensive about recommending books to others though I probably wouldn’t be confident enough to develop a book review blog! Thanks for sharing on #SmallVictoriesSunday!

    • Rose

      It took me a long time to finally do a book review blog, Amy. And even then, I asked Julie if she wanted to do one with me… she thinks its because I wanted to have her help… it was more like I wanted someone to blame if it all went bad… lol jk, love u Julie!

    • Rose

      ah yes, the blank bore stare. Ever have people who do not read anything but something that is the complete opposite of what u read insist you recommend them something? I have some peeps at work who do not read YA or NA and only really read like murder mystery and are like wanting me to recommend a good murder mystery. How can I do this?

  6. Jessica @ Rabid Reads

    I’m not really shy about book recs, but I think that’s b/c I only give them under a very specific circumstances. I learned very early (I’m talking like middle school) that most people don’t enjoy books the way I do, so I try not to talk a person’s ear off about whatever it is that I’m reading b/c I don’t want to hear about their last half marathon (or whatever) either. That being said, if an opportunity presents itself, I’m all over it. But even then I try to figure out what they like and make recommendations based on that (rather than my own personal favorites).
    Jessica @ Rabid Reads recently posted…Review: The Wicked We Have Done by Sarah Harian

    • Rose

      I used to direct people to goodreads. Now I direct them to my blog if they are into romance or YA or NA or paranormal.

  7. bookmammal

    Stopping by from Steadfast Reader–
    Great question! I really don’t recommend books unless I’m specifically asked–and even then I preface my suggestions with “I really liked it but you might not–everybody has their own taste!” I also usually ask the person to tell me about a few books they’ve read that they really enjoyed, as that can hopefully help me get on the right track. I also remind myself that sometimes it’s just not the right time for someone to read a particular book!
    It is tough when EVERYONE doesn’t just love a book that you adore, though. . .

    • Rose

      it IS tough! thanks for stopping by! And yeah, asking what they like is usually a good way to gauge what to recommend to them. Most people are like, “I dunno” when I ask them what they like. Explain to me then how I am going to recommend a book to you when you do not even know what u like!? hmmm???

    • Rose

      HELL NO! April be gone! jk. The series was The Breathing Series by Rebecca Donovan! The first book is Reason To Breathe and I love this series. Book Two, Barely Breathing, is my favorite. my book club is reading it and Julie is sitting this series out. After I sat through the entire Mortal Instruments series last summer,she quits… lol But you know, I am not bitter or anything. 🙂

      • Julie

        Hey I didn’t make your book club read The Mortal Instruments either. It was voted on or something.

  8. Savvy Working Gal

    In the pre-blog era I recommended The Poisonwood Bible to a friend. She hated it saying the only thing good about it was it made a great coaster. I now rarely recommend books in the real world. While talking about books on my blog I always say you make like this book if… You probably won’t like it if… I also admit to perusing bloggers book posts and if they love a book I couldn’t stand thinking twice about following them.
    Savvy Working Gal recently posted…Fired for Making a Flip Comment

    • Rose

      Wow, are you still friends with this person using the book as a coaster? lol. I like blog reviews that give me info like you suggest… if you like this then u will like that, if you don’t like this, don’t read that etc…

  9. Julie

    One of my least favorite questions is ‘what is your favorite book’? Because I have favorites based on different genres and sometimes its hard to compare the two. I sometimes take into account who is asking and tailor my answer more towards them.
    Julie recently posted…Making lunch time fun

    • Rose

      I was just asked this by a co worker the other day, only it was over movies…I cant answer such a question! Who could possibly answer that!?

  10. Lynn Poppe

    I’ve been thinking about this topic as I read (or really, listen to) Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I want to shout from the mountain tops how great this book is. But what if the person you recommend the book to doesn’t like it? How can you continue to be friends with someone who doesn’t like a book you are passionate about?

    • Rose

      yikes. I suppose we should go see Zac Efron’s new movie before I read Fangirl then in case I do not like it??? haha

  11. Charlotte @ Gypsy Reviews

    Definitely, unless I know the person and I will definitely share the same opinion, I’m usually quite wary about recommending books because if they’re don’t like it, the feeling is pretty horrible. I find it much easier to recommend books to my non-blogger friends actually because they’re less critical and more inclined to like books but among blogger friends, I’m more hesitant for fear of disappointment. Great discussion ladies 😀
    Charlotte @ Gypsy Reviews recently posted…Review: The Last Best Kiss by Claire LaZebnik

    • Rose

      I think I would be just the opposite, Charlotte. I would fear less recommending to blogger book friends, than just to random people who do not read as much. I think readers understand that they won’t like every book recommended to them, where as non reader people seem to me to be overly critical. Like they read my recommendation just to remind themselves as to the reason WHY they do not read…

  12. Peggy @ The Pegster Reads

    Al the time. Not sure, maybe I;m not very confident in my own ability to judge. Which is silly really because we are all different of course. Unless the book is a big seller, than I can be pretty confident that its not just ‘my’ recommendation.
    Peggy @ The Pegster Reads recently posted…Sunday Post #14 20th April

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