Committed virtual book tour

CAREGIVING FOR CRAZY

Introducing: Committed: A Memoir of Madness in The Family

by Paolina Milana

Los Angeles – May 2021 – Imagine keeping a family secret about your mother’s mental illness and growing up as one of the offspring charged with “caring for crazy.” Then, to compound the horror, witnessing another version of schizophrenia as it consumes your younger sister – who you practically raised yourself, thanks to your mother’s frailty. To see Paolina Milana as an example of resilience might be the understatement of all time. 

As a 20-year-old, Paolina gets a chance to escape her circumstances by attending an out-of-state school, but the madness she tries to leave behind will not let her be as letter after letter arrives, constantly reminding her of the insanity from which she longs to break free. Making matters worse, the voices in her own head whispering words she’s not sure are normal, further her fears. “Please don’t make me be like Mamma,” she prays to a God she’s not sure is listening.

The unexpected death of her father soon after she returns home leaves Paolina in shock—becoming fully in charge of her paranoid schizophrenic mother. But it isn’t until at age 27, when her younger sister explodes in a psychotic episode, is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and must be committed, that Paolina descends into her own despair, nearly losing herself to the darkness.

Beautifully written with flourishes of handwritten letters (in Italian) from her parents, recordings of her own inner voices challenging her every move, and a heartbreaking slew of sticky notes revealing the harrowing thoughts of her sister’s delusional mind, Paolina’s epistolary memoir invites readers into her inner circle of intimate encounters with mental illness. Poignant and impactful, Committed is a story of resilience that teaches and inspires, not as a tidy narrative, but as an authentic and rare share that speaks to the struggle of staying sane despite being surrounded by madness.

 

 

*~*Guest Post*~* 

A Sip of Hope: 4 Ways to Finding Fabulous (Even in the Middle of Madness)

As a successful career woman who rose to executive ranks at global for-profit and non-profit companies…

As a published award-winning author, writer, and creative content producer…

As a woman who finally found the perfectly imperfect love of her life (very late in life and without “settling”)…

I might appear as if I live a fabulous life. And in many ways, I do.

That doesn’t mean, however, that my journey’s been free from crazy, and in my case, it’s quite literal. Mental illness took root in my family tree with schizophrenia claiming both my mother and my sister and nearly sending me over the edge as I became their primary caregiver. Caregiving for loved ones who have a mental illness is hard enough. Keeping it secret from the outside world turns a challenging situation into the kind of tragedy we see way too often headlining the news.

Your brand of madness may or may not be related to a mental illness or to being a caregiver. For you, madness could have something to do with your work (a four-letter word), your love life (or lack thereof), your feelings of not being good enough (no matter how much you accomplish), or never being able to afford what you want (no matter how much you scrimp and save), or maybe…just maybe…you don’t even know what’s driving you mad. All you really know is that you’re far away from where you want to be, you’ve lost your joie de vivre, and you’ve given up on dreaming those dreams of what could be.

I get it. Cuz I’ve lived it. And have risen above it. So grab your goblet, fill it with your favorite Malbec, and take a sip of hope with these four ways to finding your fabulous, no matter the madness that surrounds you:

1. LOVE WHAT IS

If you’ve never seen the 1980 comedy Oh, God!, you are missing out on a gem. The late George Burns plays the Almighty and explains this thing we call life: “You ever see a front without a back? A top without a bottom? An up without a down? There can’t be good without bad, life without death, pleasure without pain. That’s the way it is. If I take sad away, happy has to go with it.” So keep that in mind no matter what life is throwing your way. And make a point to LOVE WHAT IS. Yes. Even the stuff that hurts your heart or frustrates you to no end. LOVE IT. Why…? Because while you can’t control the cray-cray, you can control how you react to it. THAT is your CHOICE, and in that is your POWER.

 

2. TAKE A WALK THROUGH MEMORY LANE

As humans, we tend to do a better job of recalling the less-than-happy moments of our past. But I challenge you to revisit what came before and everything that has made you who you are today.  The bad and the good. Because when you do, you’ll realize that your fabulous isn’t that far away…you were there before so take some time to look back at old photos or what music or movies were popular a decade ago. Put yourself back to a time when you remember how much you loved bike rides or gardening or bubble baths. Let yourself feel your own moments of joy from the past, then take a baby step and do just one of them. Stay with those moments for even just a few minutes each day, and then increase those minutes daily. Here’s a free little workbook to help you revisit the things that made you feel fabulous and get you back on the path to wherever you really want (and deserve) to be.

 

3. STOP “SHOULDING” ON YOURSELF

Social media is great for a lot of reasons. But it also can be toxic. How much time are you spending scrolling through your Facebook feed? How many times do you see others living their fabulous lives and wonder, “Why them and not me?” Social media can have us entertaining a lot of “shoulda, woulda, couldas” about our lives. What we need to remember is that what we’re seeing isn’t the full picture. It’s people’s “highlight reels” – you know, just like when you see coming attractions for a movie, you’re only being given the best clips. So stop “shoulding” on yourself. Give yourself a social media break. Go for a whole week without it, and I bet you’ll suddenly start feeling your own fabulous.

 

4. LET YOUR INNER KID OUT TO PLAY

This past year has been a tough one for our mental health. The pandemic, politics, personal and professional issues: It’s no wonder so many people are experiencing less-than-fabulous feelings. I think we all can agree that adulting hasn’t been a whole lot of fun. So here’s an idea: Let your inner child out to play. Children are resilient. They can handle whatever’s thrown their way because most if not all of them live in the moment and feel every emotion. So do something every day that makes you feel like a kid. Want to eat chocolate cake for breakfast? Go ahead. Want to take your next ZOOM call wearing only a scarf around your neck, do it! Go ahead and be naughty. It’ll help you get your spark back I’m sure.

Bottom line is that it’s okay not to feel as fabulous as we deserve to. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by our circumstances. What’s not okay, however, is suffering in silence and thinking you’re alone. Mental health matters. You matter.  So if you’re struggling, reach out. If you notice someone else who seems a bit discouraged, you reach out. If this past year has taught us anything, it’s that we’re all in this together. Your fabulous life is waiting for you. Go get it.

 

 

 

 

Title: Committed: A Memoir of Madness in the Family

Author: Paolina Milana

Release Date: May 4, 2021

Publisher: She Writes Press

Blurb: After a decade of caring for crazy and keeping her mother’s mental illness a secret from the outside world, twenty-year-old Paolina Milana longs for just one year free from the madness of her home. When she gets the chance to go to an out-of-state school, she takes it, but her family won’t leave her be. Letter after letter arrives, constantly reminding her of the insanity rooted in her family tree. Even worse, the voices in her own head whisper words she’s not sure are normal. “Please don’t make me be like Mamma,” she prays to a God she’s not sure is listening.

The unexpected death of her father soon after she returns home leaves Paolina in shock―and in charge of her paranoid schizophrenic mother. But it isn’t until she is twenty-seven and her sister two years her junior explodes in a psychotic episode and, just like Mamma, is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and must be committed, that Paolina descends into her own despair, nearly losing herself to the darkness.

Poignant and impactful, Committed is one woman’s story of resilience as she struggles to stay sane despite the madness that surrounds her.

 

 

About the Author

Paolina Milana’s mission is to share stories that celebrate the triumph of the human spirit: To unleash the power that lies within each of us to bring about change for the better. 

Milana’s professional background is rooted in journalism where as a features writer for a major daily newspaper in the Midwest, she told the stories of other people. Then she moved to the field of PR/media and digital marketing as an executive in both corporate and non-profit environments. Given her experience in an emotionally tumultuous household where she was put in the position of caregiver to unstable family members, she is uniquely qualified to serve as a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for children in foster care and as an empowerment and resiliency coach, using storytelling to help people reimagine their lives, write their next chapters, and become the heroes of their own journeys. 

Paolina has won awards for her writing, including her first book, The S Word, which received the National Indie Excellence Award. Her self-help picture book for adults, Seriously! Are We There Yet?!, and her holiday fiction novel, Miracle on Mall Drive both published in late 2020. Paolina is a first-generation Sicilian, married, and lives on the edge of the Angeles National Forest in Southern California.

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