Do you want to know what a 5 star dark and deeply beautifully written, emotional book looks like? It looks like Rebecca Donovan¡¦s Reason to Breathe. Oh. My. God. There are no words. Who am I kidding? There are plenty of words and emotions that I felt throughout this book and I had some a couple of pretty ugly cries on this one.
I went into this a little differently. I stumbled upon this gem of a book when its sequel was already out. So I didn't have to wait the tortuous wait like so many did for the second book. Yay me. But regardless of that fact, I could not put the book down. This was one of those reads. The one that you are dead tired from an exhausting day at work and all you want to do is immerse yourself into someone else's world and feel their joys, their pain, their fears, and well, being the romance junkie that I am, their love. This book was exactly what I needed and I thank the reading gods and Rebecca Donovan for writing such an amazing and powerful book.
This is the story of Emma and Evan and what an emotionally draining story it is! I loved every minute of it. I sobbed my heart out for Emma. The things that she had to live through were unbearable. This is a story that deals with physical and emotional abuse from someone who is supposed to be nurturing her and guiding her. This is the story about how one brave girl endures all of this pain and hatred for the love of her cousins. They were what kept her going in that house. The sun or light in her very dark home.
Emma is a successful and overachieving 16 year old high school student with a 4.0 grade point average in advanced classes. She tries to lay low because she wants to remain invisible to people. She likes to keep her interactions limited. She can't allow for anyone to get too close. She just wants to do what she has to do and make it to the end of high school. She is a talented soccer player as well, which helps her release a lot of tension from the pain she endures on a daily basis, plus she's banking on that soccer scholarship to help her escape from the hell she was living in.
"I wasn't embarrassed by my grades or what other students thought of my high marks. I knew I earned them. And I also knew that they were going to save me someday." -Emma
Her home life is awful. No child should ever have to live that way. Her father passed away and her mother is non-existent and the only family she had left is her aunt and uncle. Her brutally abusive and appalling aunt, Carol, is a monster. I have never witnessed a more hateful character than Carol. Holy. Crap. I wanted to kill her. Have you ever wanted to reach in a book and truly hurt someone? Well, yeah. That was me. The sadness and hurt I felt for Emma nearly engulfed me until the extreme hate and rage took its place. What an incredibly detestable character. I now dislike the name Carol. No, I don't. Yeah, well, maybe a little. It will always remind me of that woman. Then, there's the person that you would think would help her. Her uncle George? I have a few choice words for him as well that I will not add to this review because I'd like to keep it clean, but it's a name we use for cats or in erotica novels. Just sayin. Oooooh, if I could bitchslap him, I would. What a spineless animal! Grow a pair, George!
I feel the need to express my emotions on these characters because Rebecca's brilliant writing, this brilliant story does just that to you. She makes you feel each and every character in the story. From the monster Carol, to the moron George, to the delightful Jack and Leyla that you can't help fall in love with, to Sara, who is Emma's best friend and Sara's parents. Each character comes to life, making you feel something . . . .anything for them. This is one of the many reasons you as a reader, become so invested in this story. You feel like you know them well enough to be a part of it. You are there . . .feeling it all in the most overwhelming way.
Emma's social life is really nonexistent. She participates in afterschool activities, mostly to stay out of the house and out of Carol's way. She really only talks to her soccer teammates and to her best friend Sara. Emma chooses to keep her head down, and her interactions very limited. Being the best friend of the most popular girl in school (Sara) is enough of a social life for her. And her best friend knows exactly why Emma is the way she is.
"What no one understood, besides Sara, was that all I really cared about were the days I counted down until I moved out of my aunt and uncle's house to go to college. So if I had to put up with the whispers behind my back as I received the highest marks in the class, then so be it. They weren't going to be there to save me if I did anything but succeed, so I didn't need to get involved in the gossip and typical teenage tripe"-Emma
Nothing could have prepared her though for what was awaiting her. There was one thing that Emma hadn't banked on.
Enter Evan. *sigh* The new boy in school. They very good-looking, caring new boy in school.
She didn't want to get noticed. She didn't want to make those connections. She never counted on the new boy in school to take notice of her.
"I get that you're new, and I must seem intriguing to you. But I assure you, I'm not that interesting. You really don't need to get to know me. I get good grades. I'm decent at sports, and I keep myself busy. I like my privacy I like my space, and I like to be left alone. That's it. You can get to know everyone else in this school who's dying to know you. I'm not. Sorry"- Emma
Ooooooh Emma! This is where it gets interesting. She tries to deny, she tries to push him away. This is where we see her come to life, even if she if she refuses to admit it or see it. He's the boy that she didn't want to fall in love but inevitably did and boy did he push her boundaries! Emma's focus alters when Evan disturbs her comfort zone. He is everything she needs, but everything she knows she can't have or that she deserves to have. She can't have a normal relationship because she doesn't have a normal life. However, Evan sees the gem underneath Emma's cold exterior. He is determined to be there for her even though he doesn't know what she goes through on a daily basis.
Can I tell you how much I swoon over Evan??? I fell head over heels in love with him, and I am sure you will too. He loves Emma the way she deserves to be loved. But . . . Emma is broken. She holds everyone at arm's length because if they get close to her, they might discover the truth and she couldn't have that.
"I love that picture, he admitted softly.I think it's because I love the girl in the picture." Evan as they look at a picture of Emma. *Swooooon*
But this is Emma's life and story and it's not a very happy one unfortunately. Her aunt Carol makes it impossible for Emma to be happy and well, things get ugly. Things get even uglier towards the end of the book when Emma's trouble is no longer as invisible as she thinks. The end of this story leaves you with the most heart-wrenching cliffhanger that I have endured in a long time, if not ever and I thanked my lucky stars that I had book 2 (Barely Breathing) on my kindle ready and waiting for me. I don't know what I would have done with myself had I had to wait. It was a deeply painful, intense, splendid emotional rollercoaster that I enjoyed to the fullest.
What happens to Emma? What happens to Evan? I guess you're going to have to find out for yourself. Grab a box of Kleenex and make sure you have the time to spare or stay up all night to read it. I guarantee that you won't put it down and . . . you won't be sorry. It's a solid 5 stars for me.
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Reviews with images
When things are tough, you don’t have to give up
Good read, I like how Em has such a challenging life at home but continue me to excel in school. She is a very strong person .
Top reviews from other countries
Kindle Customer Barb Y
A journey of abuse to love
Reviewed in Canada on September 3, 2020
TC
Wooow! MUST READ, and that ending?!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 15, 2014
