Guest post: My top five favourite things about writing Fantasy – Andy Coffey
- Freedom – I’m free! I’m free! My imagination has been caged, deprived of ale or curry for far too long… but now it’s been unleashed and wants a real good nosh-up. And that’s the wonderful thing about writing fantasy; the freedom to create your own world, populate it with whomever and whatever you like and watch it grow. The only limits are your imagination. You want conscious curries? Fine. Sheep that run pubs? Fine. Magic cheese that comes from mines? Fine. Philosophical blue ants that continually recite Plato while playing golf? Nah, that’s a bit too far-fetched.
- Challenging – But, hang on a second, how has it come to pass that sheep are running pubs? Ah, they were given their freedom with the ratification of the ‘Ovine Equality Act of 1962’. So that entitled them to become pub landlords straight away? Ah, no, they had to begin as glass collectors and work their way up. And how come Wrexham is a ‘Currydom’, ruled by King Beef Vindaloo-Boiled Rice III and his wife, Queen Chicken Tikka Masala-Coconut Rice? Ah, because, they won the ‘Risotto Wars’ and were considered better governors than the local council. And what is the Porcine Order for Recognition and Kinship (P.O.R.K for short) all about? Ah, they’re protesting so that pigs are given the same freedoms as sheep. Yes, it all makes sense. Thinking of random funny stuff is fine, but then you’ve got to work it so it works, if you get my drift.
- Fun – If you can’t have a ball creating different types of magic cheese, such as Red Cheekfizzler, Blue Bottomgrabber and Green Kneetrembler then, quite frankly, you need to eat some yourself. There’s nothing wrong with laughing at your own jokes about a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band. Seriously. Fun and creativity are well-matched bedfellows and benefit from an extremely bouncy mattress.
- Unique – There’s a very strong chance that what you are creating is unique. Sure, you may have had influences, but if you say ‘no thanks’ to a ride on the plagiarism pony and let your own imagination run the race itself, you’ll most likely finish in first place and win a big silver cup and a nice bottle of champagne. You’ll also get a great feeling of satisfaction… which leads nicely into…
- Rewarding – And so, when you eventually finish creating your world (and have undertaken innumerable edits…), there’s a tremendous sense of fulfilment and a big warm glow you’d normally only get if you’d eaten a piece of Orange Tummywarmer cheese. People visit your world and like it! Hurrah! You have an odd feeling inside that makes you think that you are about to explode with enlightenment… or is it just a touch of wind? So, you grab your coat, walk up the road with a spring in your step and go and find a good curry to eat… only with their permission, of course!
From a land beyond distance and beyond time… in 1987… in Llangollen…
Imagine Black Adder, Shrek, Douglas Adams, Monty Python, Terry Pratchett, David Eddings and Spinal Tap meeting for a few pints of fine ale and a good game of charades…
Welcome to the world of Sacred Wind, a tale set in an alternative reality, featuring conscious curries, head banging sheep, telepathic cats, magic cheese, an evil Baron, some very sexy faeries, and a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band….
If you have a quirky sense of humour like myself you are going to love this book.
Title: Sacred Wind
Author: Andy Coffey
Blurb: It’s safe to say that the last thing Aiden Peersey expected when he began his trip to Llangollen was to meet a bunch of Welsh Vikings who played in a rock band called Sacred Wind. It’s also safe to say that the technology geek and part-time sound engineer didn’t expect to be catapulted into a quest to win a music tournament, to save the faerie queen, to win freedom for their land, to be able to fart freely, and to win the right to their cheese. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what happened…
Transported into an alternative reality by the Navigation App on his quantum computer-powered Smart Phone, Aiden discovers a land ruled by the evil Baron Blacktie, who has banned rock music, outlawed unauthorised flatulence, and made cheese sniffing a crime. He is soon immersed in a world where sheep manage pubs and play in orchestras, cats are telepathic, cheese comes from mines, and curries have consciousness (Wrexham is a ‘Currydom’, ruled by King Beef Vindaloo-Boiled Rice III and his wife, Queen Tikka Masala-Coconut Rice…). When the evil Baron discovers that Sacred Wind’s drummer, Agnar the Hammered, owns a cheese mine that contains a potentially magic cheese, he concocts a hideous plot to make the mine his own. He challenges Sacred Wind to take part in a prestigious music tournament, and he sends his two top spies, Hob and Nob, to capture the Faerie Queen, Ophelia, who is betrothed to Sacred Wind’s singer, Olaf the Berserker! And so, Aiden joins the Sacred Wind and the ‘Companionship of Wind’, as they embark on a perilous journey to reach the city in time for the great tournament…
So, if you want to delve into a world where curries will make you laugh, where sheep will make you cry, where no-one sniggers when your first name is ‘Oldfart’, where you’ll cheer quite a lot at the bits that have obviously been written to incite cheering, where you’ll think about faeries in ways you really shouldn’t, where you’ll be even more scared of Traffic Wardens than you ever thought possible, where vacuum cleaners get possessed, where Welsh Vikings can have platonic relationships with English sheep, where you finish reading the story with a smile on your face and warmth in your heart, and where you want to read more as soon as you’ve finished, then Sacred Wind is the book for you.
Sacred Wind – The Album
Surely the finest debut album by a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band from an alternative reality…
Now available at all good download stores! Featuring all the Sacred Wind tracks from the book and more:
1.A Time of Magic
3.Metal and Curry
5.Warriors of Asgard
6.Sail With Me
7.Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock Ragnarok
9.Fart For Odin
10.Dragon Ships and Women’s Hips
11.My Sword is my Sword
12.The Sheep’s Lament (bonus track)
13.The Power of Cheese (bonus track)
Andy Coffey is the author of the Sacred Wind trilogy of books, a fantasy/comedy set in an alternative reality… which also features an album of rock music by the fictitious band in the book, Sacred Wind. You can find out more at www.sacredwind.co.uk