A Journey Through Middle America,
the Texas Oil Field, and Standup Comedy
Publisher: Stay Strong Publishing
Publication Date: March 20, 2017
PROLOGUE FROM FIERCE, FUNNY, AND FEMALE
BY MARTI MacGIBBON
I hit the dirt, facedown in the grassy pasture, bullets buzzing overhead. Whoa! Now I know what it feels like to be shot at…I turned my head to the left, a few yards downhill all five of my coworkers lay prone, heads down. Hearing even more ammo zinging by, I lifted my head just enough to catch a glimpse of two redneck farmers in the distance, silhouetted by the late afternoon sun, shouldering their rifles and taking aim.
“Marti, GIT YER HEAD DOWN AN’ KEEP IT DOWN!” Scott hollered. “These RANCHERS think we’re ESCAPED CONVICTS!”
Wow. We ARE pretty close to Huntsville. Scott’d told me about the Penitentiary. His brother was doing five-to-ten for possession.
Roger, the crew’s leader, weighed in, his hoarse bark emphatic. “JIMMY JOE, grab your GODDAM WALKIN’ STICK an’ TIE some flaggin’ on it AN’ WAVE THE SUMBITCH AROUND as high as you can without gettin’ y’ HAND blown off, so they can see we’re with the COMP’NY! We’re on the wrong side o’ the fence, remember?”
Jimmy Joe moved lightning-quick, like a cobra—amazing considering how stoned he was. Earlier that afternoon in the woods, he’d fashioned the walking stick from a tree branch in order to keep from staggering. In milliseconds, the fluorescent orange flagging was waving in the air like a neon Cheetos-brand flag of truce, and the rustic snipers momentarily ceased fire.
Suddenly, I tore off my baseball cap, shook out my long blond hair and jumped up, waving the cap frantically at the paused shooters. I threw off my jacket for good measure, hoping that, even though I was dressed in a work shirt, just like the guys, the hayseed infantry might recognize my female form and hesitate before gunning me down.
The ranchers shouldered their rifles and broke into a run, rapidly closing the distance between us, one of them shrieking at the top of his lungs, “IS THAT A GUUUURRRRLLLL?” When the yokel militia jogged within earshot, Roger stepped up and introduced himself as our crew chief.
The leathery gun-toters snorted derisively. Both wore Bull Durham ball caps, Wrangler jeans, western shirts, and denim jackets. The one with the beer belly spat tobacco juice on the ground and barked, “Don’ y’all know yer s’pose to stay on the other side o’ the fence? Y’all damn near gotcherselves killed, y’know that? We get a bounty fer every escaped convict—dead or alive, it don’ matter! Heh. Heh…”
“Yep. That’s raht. Good thing we seen you had a gal along. We shoot first an’ ask questions later,” growled the other rancher, the leaner and more menacing of the two. He turned, jabbed a gnarled finger in my direction and rasped, “Hey there MISSY, what’re YOU doin’ way out here?”
I met his jaundiced gaze with what I hoped was a steady, stone-cold stare, but inwardly, I wavered. Yeah…Come to think of it, what AM I doin’ out here?
Of course, it only took a second to remember what I was doing way out there in the sticks: working in the Texas oilfield, one of the last bastions of male supremacy. Thanks to this new career I now earned a decent wage—a man-sized paycheck. And I had some deeper, more personal reasons, too, in that I was driven by a broken heart, but I pushed my emotions down and consciously toughened up my vibe. I was in for the long haul. I’d need plenty of money to hire an attorney for the fight of my life. Remembering steeled my resolve and sharpened my focus.
“Being funny is a survival skill. Fierce, Funny, and Female is not only a survivor’s tale but an inspirational story of overcoming the unthinkable, again and again…Her courage and comedy make Fierce, Funny, and Female a winner.” — Foreword Clarion Reviews
“An effervescently witty…chronicle of perseverance and the power to overcome the darkest of days…Perhaps the most rewarding chapter in this chatty, affecting book is the concluding one, where MacGibbon lists the tried-and-true pearls of wisdom that continue to sustain her…” — Kirkus Reviews
“Fierce, Funny, and Female is a thoroughly engaging memoir packed with witty observations, high adventure, and a glimpse of behind-the-scenes Hollywood. Highly recommended!” — Midwest Book Review
“MacGibbon is a natural storyteller, and her life story is a most interesting one. The characters she has run across during her life journey are well-drawn and absolutely fascinating, particularly the good ol’ boys in the Texas oilfields.” — San Francisco Book Review
Each of Three Winners Gets a Signed Copy of the Book PLUS:
SECOND PRIZE:
12/12/18
|
Excerpt
|
|
12/12/18
|
Author Interview
|
|
12/13/18
|
Review
|
|
12/14/18
|
Playlist
|
|
12/14/18
|
Guest Post
|
|
12/15/18
|
Review
|
|
12/15/18
|
Excerpt
|
|
12/16/18
|
Review
|
|
12/17/18
|
Guest Post
|
|
12/17/18
|
Scrapbook Page
|
|
12/18/18
|
Review
|
|
12/19/18
|
Excerpt
|
|
12/19/18
|
Guest Post
|
|
12/20/18
|
Review
|
|
12/21/18
|
Review
|
Thank you a thousand times over, for posting an excerpt from my book, Fierce, Funny, and Female, on Chapter Break! What a gorgeous website you have! And I’m browsing some fun books to add to my personal reading list. Thank you for reading and writing, and thank you for supporting readers and authors. You Rock!
Thanks, Marti! We appreciate you stopping by and sharing your book with us!